The following is taken from an online pamphlet found here…
http://www.christianity.co.nz/forgive1.htm
http://www.christianity.co.nz/forgive1.htm
I am thankful for the help of anonymous contributors.
~Shill
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“Forgiveness is not forgetting
In the New Testament, in speaking of his ambitions in life, Paul says, "I forget what is behind, and I struggle for what is ahead...so that I can win the prize of being called to heaven" (Philippians 3:13,14). Does this mean that Paul is putting out of his mind all that has gone before? No, it doesn't. There are some things the Bible says very clearly that we should never forget (read Deuteronomy, chapters 4 to 12 for some examples).
However, more importantly, the biblical word "forget" in this context does not mean to "put out of one's mind". It has the meaning of "letting go". It means that we are not going to allow the experiences of the past to dominate our future and to prevent us from becoming all that God has planned we should become. There may well be memories we are unable to put out of mind, but we choose not to allow them to control our attitudes and behavior in the future, even toward those who may be responsible for those memories.
Lisa Goertz lost her family in the Jewish holocaust in Germany. Before escaping from Germany herself, she became a Christian as the result of seeing a vision of Jesus, a fellow Jew, suffering on the cross for the sins of humanity.
In her book, I Stepped into Freedom, she says:
‘Slowly I walk on, carrying my sins daily to the Cross, then returning to struggle along my life's path, on which the slanting rays of a setting sun already cast a shadow. I still weep when I think of a tall blond man who was my husband. My heart still aches with longing for a slim lovely girl, for a small sunny haired boy. My thoughts turn mournfully to my mother and my brother buried somewhere in an unknown grave in what is now to me a foreign country. I know that only God Himself "will wipe away all tears" when I see my Lord in glory. But there is no bitterness or hatred in my heart; one cannot live with bitterness and hatred. There is the peace of God in me and a reflection of His divine love which makes me love my fellow-men whether they are black or yellow or white, whether they are Jews or Christians, whether they belong to this denomination or that. They are God's family, my sisters and brothers.’
No. Forgiveness is not forgetting.
Forgiveness is not avoidance
Forgiveness is not making light of something we find hurtful. Being the imperfect people we are, there are constantly things that happen between us and others that are minor irritations. We can ignore these. However, when the hurt is real, it is not helpful to say, "It doesn't matter", or to make light of something that is basically wrong. That is being dishonest. Where a relationship is spoiled, something more is necessary.
Dwight Small, in Design for Christian Marriage, says:
‘Forgiveness is not merely a soft attitude toward a harsh fact; forgiveness is the vital action of love, seeking to restore the harmony that has been shattered.’
Forgiveness is not excusing
Forgiveness is not denying that the one who has caused the hurt is responsible for their actions. There is a place for making allowances for people's behavior. However, there is a tendency today to err too much in that direction. It is true that some people are more "sinned against" than sinning, but to deny responsibility for the choices we make is to lessen our dignity as human beings. We are beings created in the image of God who calls us to account for our moral choices. Invariably we mess things up, but if we are to grow we must accept responsibility for our own part in that process.
C. S. Lewis, in Fernseeds and Elephants, says:
‘If one was really not to blame, then there is nothing to forgive. In that sense forgiveness and excusing are almost opposite.’
Forgiveness is the miracle of a new beginning. It is to start where we are, not where we wish we were, or the other person was. It is to hold out a hand; to want to renew a friendship; to want a new relationship with husband, father, daughter, friend, or indeed enemy. It may not take away the hurt. It does not deny the past injury. It does not ignore the possibility and need for repentance and a change in the relationship. It means being willing to take the initiative in dealing with any barriers that I may be raising towards a restored relationship. It means that I am willing to have a relationship with the other party that is based on Christian love and not on what has happened in the past, if the response of the other person makes that possible.
"Forgiveness may lead to reconciliation or it may not, but they are not the same"
Paul Thigpen, a contributing editor for Discipleship Journal, in speaking of the difficult steps he went through in forgiving his father, found it helpful to repeat his willingness to forgive aloud, as if speaking with his father, until he felt a sense of relief. He describes the meaning of forgiveness in these terms:
'Two New Testament words we translate "to forgive" mean literally "to let go" and "to cancel a debt". I found that at times the phrase "I forgive you" seemed empty, so I said, "I release you. I let you go. I let go of this offence. I cancel your debt. You owe me nothing now. I renounce my desire to get even with you." That way, the imagery of this biblical language filled the word "forgiveness" with a more specific and concrete meaning.'
Of course, it is always on the cards that reconciliation may be impossible because of the unwillingness of the other party to be reconciled or to admit any fault in the matter. However, I am not responsible for their actions, only my own.
Quin Sherrer, a freelance writer, tells in Decision magazine of the devastation it caused in her life when her father left her mother to marry his secretary. Quin was 12 years old. Years later she came to a deeper commitment to Jesus when she asked him to be Lord of all of her life. Not only did she tell Jesus that she forgave her dad, she also asked him to forgive her for all the bitterness, hate and resentment that she had built up over the years. She began to write him letters. Sometimes he wrote back hateful letters, but each time she chose to forgive him. Twenty-five years later, just before he died, he told her plainly, "I'm glad you forgave me." Forgiveness may lead to reconciliation or it may not, but they are not the same. Paul recognizes this when, in writing about our attitude to those who wrong us, he says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" (Romans 12:18).
It is significant, on this point, that Jesus' statement in the Sermon on the Mount, "God blesses those people who make peace", is immediately followed by "God blesses those people who are treated badly for doing right." (Matthew 5:9,10). John Stott, in The Message of the Sermon on the Mount perceptively comments:
‘It may seem strange that Jesus should pass from peacemaking to persecution, from the work of reconciliation to the experience of hostility. Yet however hard we may try to make peace with some people, they refuse to live at peace with us. Not all attempts at reconciliation succeed.’
The cost of forgiveness...
You may well ask, "Isn't that ignoring the past? What about justice?" The issue of justice faces us with the cost of forgiveness. Paul says, "Forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you" (Colossians 3:13). Our forgiveness of others is to be of a similar nature to Christ's forgiveness of us. What did it cost Christ to forgive us? It cost him his life.
God is not only perfect in love. He is also perfect in justice. The Bible says that righteousness and justice are the very foundation of his government (Psalm 97:2). There is justice at the heart of this universe. That means that if we are to be forgiven, someone has to accept the consequences for our wrongdoing. In a manner that passes human understanding, Jesus Christ accepted that responsibility. "Christ died once for our sins. An innocent person died for those who are guilty. Christ did this to bring you to God..." (I Peter 3:18).
On the basis of that sacrifice he can offer us forgiveness and reconciliation. It is a gift, and can only be accepted - never earned. We owe to God a debt we could not pay ourselves. God invented forgiveness in order to keep alive his romance with fallen humanity, but at infinite cost. His justice was fully satisfied at Calvary.
There is a sense in which all sin is sin against God. Only God can forgive that. But on the basis of our experience of that forgiveness we are to extend it to others who sin against us. We cannot accept responsibility for their sin against God. He has already done that. However, when we choose to forgive another, there is always some sense in which we are accepting responsibility for the consequences of those sins. This is why forgiveness always has a cost to go with it. I bear in myself the price of the evil done. To give a simple illustration: if someone breaks a precious heirloom of mine and I forgive them, then I am offering to pay the cost, whether it be in the price of replacement, or of the loss. It is interesting that the Hebrew word for "forgive" means two things, to remit a debt and to pay it. It is the same word for both.
An Episcopalian writer, Gale D. Webb, caught this aspect of forgiveness when he wrote in The Night and Nothing:
‘The only way to conquer evil is to let it be smothered within a willing, living, human being. When it is absorbed there, like blood in a sponge or a spear thrown into one's heart, it loses its power and goes no further.’
M. Scott Peck makes the same point in his conclusion to People of the Lie. For the healing of evil, he notes:
‘A willing sacrifice is required...He or she must sacrificially absorb the evil...There is a mysterious alchemy whereby the victim becomes the victor...I do not know how this occurs. But I know that it does...Whenever this happens there is a slight shift in the balance of power in the world.’
It is this that is the miracle of forgiveness.
There is one other matter of importance related to justice that we need to address before looking at the importance of forgiveness. God is certainly not indifferent to justice. The need for Christ's cross demonstrates that. However, ultimately justice is God's concern, and only he can dispense it fairly, taking all the factors into account. He has guaranteed that this is what he will ultimately do.
Paul, speaking about those who mistreat us, says, "Dear friends, don't try to get even. Let God take revenge. In the Scriptures the Lord says, 'I am the one to take revenge and pay them back.'... Don't let evil defeat you, but defeat evil with good" (Romans 12:19,21). God delegates the ordering of justice in society to duly constituted authority (Romans 13:1-5). Being members of a fallen race, this means that justice in this world is always flawed. However, we are not to take revenge into our own personal hands. God will see that justice is done, if not in this life, then surely and fairly in the next. Where repentance is not genuine and God's offer of reconciliation in Christ is not accepted, there can remain only justice. To meet evil with evil is a defeat for ourselves.”
--------------------------------------------------------
I needed to know what forgiveness was all about. During my search I discovered that I did not fully understand what the Bible meant when that word was used.
We could all benefit from replacing our current definition of "forgiveness" with the wisdom found in this article. Receiving forgiveness from God is easy for us. Granting true forgiveness may be the hardest thing we are ever asked to do.
Go do hard things.
~Shill
-----------------------------------------------------
“Forgiveness is not forgetting
In the New Testament, in speaking of his ambitions in life, Paul says, "I forget what is behind, and I struggle for what is ahead...so that I can win the prize of being called to heaven" (Philippians 3:13,14). Does this mean that Paul is putting out of his mind all that has gone before? No, it doesn't. There are some things the Bible says very clearly that we should never forget (read Deuteronomy, chapters 4 to 12 for some examples).
However, more importantly, the biblical word "forget" in this context does not mean to "put out of one's mind". It has the meaning of "letting go". It means that we are not going to allow the experiences of the past to dominate our future and to prevent us from becoming all that God has planned we should become. There may well be memories we are unable to put out of mind, but we choose not to allow them to control our attitudes and behavior in the future, even toward those who may be responsible for those memories.
Lisa Goertz lost her family in the Jewish holocaust in Germany. Before escaping from Germany herself, she became a Christian as the result of seeing a vision of Jesus, a fellow Jew, suffering on the cross for the sins of humanity.
In her book, I Stepped into Freedom, she says:
‘Slowly I walk on, carrying my sins daily to the Cross, then returning to struggle along my life's path, on which the slanting rays of a setting sun already cast a shadow. I still weep when I think of a tall blond man who was my husband. My heart still aches with longing for a slim lovely girl, for a small sunny haired boy. My thoughts turn mournfully to my mother and my brother buried somewhere in an unknown grave in what is now to me a foreign country. I know that only God Himself "will wipe away all tears" when I see my Lord in glory. But there is no bitterness or hatred in my heart; one cannot live with bitterness and hatred. There is the peace of God in me and a reflection of His divine love which makes me love my fellow-men whether they are black or yellow or white, whether they are Jews or Christians, whether they belong to this denomination or that. They are God's family, my sisters and brothers.’
No. Forgiveness is not forgetting.
Forgiveness is not avoidance
Forgiveness is not making light of something we find hurtful. Being the imperfect people we are, there are constantly things that happen between us and others that are minor irritations. We can ignore these. However, when the hurt is real, it is not helpful to say, "It doesn't matter", or to make light of something that is basically wrong. That is being dishonest. Where a relationship is spoiled, something more is necessary.
Dwight Small, in Design for Christian Marriage, says:
‘Forgiveness is not merely a soft attitude toward a harsh fact; forgiveness is the vital action of love, seeking to restore the harmony that has been shattered.’
Forgiveness is not excusing
Forgiveness is not denying that the one who has caused the hurt is responsible for their actions. There is a place for making allowances for people's behavior. However, there is a tendency today to err too much in that direction. It is true that some people are more "sinned against" than sinning, but to deny responsibility for the choices we make is to lessen our dignity as human beings. We are beings created in the image of God who calls us to account for our moral choices. Invariably we mess things up, but if we are to grow we must accept responsibility for our own part in that process.
C. S. Lewis, in Fernseeds and Elephants, says:
‘If one was really not to blame, then there is nothing to forgive. In that sense forgiveness and excusing are almost opposite.’
Forgiveness is the miracle of a new beginning. It is to start where we are, not where we wish we were, or the other person was. It is to hold out a hand; to want to renew a friendship; to want a new relationship with husband, father, daughter, friend, or indeed enemy. It may not take away the hurt. It does not deny the past injury. It does not ignore the possibility and need for repentance and a change in the relationship. It means being willing to take the initiative in dealing with any barriers that I may be raising towards a restored relationship. It means that I am willing to have a relationship with the other party that is based on Christian love and not on what has happened in the past, if the response of the other person makes that possible.
"Forgiveness may lead to reconciliation or it may not, but they are not the same"
Paul Thigpen, a contributing editor for Discipleship Journal, in speaking of the difficult steps he went through in forgiving his father, found it helpful to repeat his willingness to forgive aloud, as if speaking with his father, until he felt a sense of relief. He describes the meaning of forgiveness in these terms:
'Two New Testament words we translate "to forgive" mean literally "to let go" and "to cancel a debt". I found that at times the phrase "I forgive you" seemed empty, so I said, "I release you. I let you go. I let go of this offence. I cancel your debt. You owe me nothing now. I renounce my desire to get even with you." That way, the imagery of this biblical language filled the word "forgiveness" with a more specific and concrete meaning.'
Of course, it is always on the cards that reconciliation may be impossible because of the unwillingness of the other party to be reconciled or to admit any fault in the matter. However, I am not responsible for their actions, only my own.
Quin Sherrer, a freelance writer, tells in Decision magazine of the devastation it caused in her life when her father left her mother to marry his secretary. Quin was 12 years old. Years later she came to a deeper commitment to Jesus when she asked him to be Lord of all of her life. Not only did she tell Jesus that she forgave her dad, she also asked him to forgive her for all the bitterness, hate and resentment that she had built up over the years. She began to write him letters. Sometimes he wrote back hateful letters, but each time she chose to forgive him. Twenty-five years later, just before he died, he told her plainly, "I'm glad you forgave me." Forgiveness may lead to reconciliation or it may not, but they are not the same. Paul recognizes this when, in writing about our attitude to those who wrong us, he says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" (Romans 12:18).
It is significant, on this point, that Jesus' statement in the Sermon on the Mount, "God blesses those people who make peace", is immediately followed by "God blesses those people who are treated badly for doing right." (Matthew 5:9,10). John Stott, in The Message of the Sermon on the Mount perceptively comments:
‘It may seem strange that Jesus should pass from peacemaking to persecution, from the work of reconciliation to the experience of hostility. Yet however hard we may try to make peace with some people, they refuse to live at peace with us. Not all attempts at reconciliation succeed.’
The cost of forgiveness...
You may well ask, "Isn't that ignoring the past? What about justice?" The issue of justice faces us with the cost of forgiveness. Paul says, "Forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you" (Colossians 3:13). Our forgiveness of others is to be of a similar nature to Christ's forgiveness of us. What did it cost Christ to forgive us? It cost him his life.
God is not only perfect in love. He is also perfect in justice. The Bible says that righteousness and justice are the very foundation of his government (Psalm 97:2). There is justice at the heart of this universe. That means that if we are to be forgiven, someone has to accept the consequences for our wrongdoing. In a manner that passes human understanding, Jesus Christ accepted that responsibility. "Christ died once for our sins. An innocent person died for those who are guilty. Christ did this to bring you to God..." (I Peter 3:18).
On the basis of that sacrifice he can offer us forgiveness and reconciliation. It is a gift, and can only be accepted - never earned. We owe to God a debt we could not pay ourselves. God invented forgiveness in order to keep alive his romance with fallen humanity, but at infinite cost. His justice was fully satisfied at Calvary.
There is a sense in which all sin is sin against God. Only God can forgive that. But on the basis of our experience of that forgiveness we are to extend it to others who sin against us. We cannot accept responsibility for their sin against God. He has already done that. However, when we choose to forgive another, there is always some sense in which we are accepting responsibility for the consequences of those sins. This is why forgiveness always has a cost to go with it. I bear in myself the price of the evil done. To give a simple illustration: if someone breaks a precious heirloom of mine and I forgive them, then I am offering to pay the cost, whether it be in the price of replacement, or of the loss. It is interesting that the Hebrew word for "forgive" means two things, to remit a debt and to pay it. It is the same word for both.
An Episcopalian writer, Gale D. Webb, caught this aspect of forgiveness when he wrote in The Night and Nothing:
‘The only way to conquer evil is to let it be smothered within a willing, living, human being. When it is absorbed there, like blood in a sponge or a spear thrown into one's heart, it loses its power and goes no further.’
M. Scott Peck makes the same point in his conclusion to People of the Lie. For the healing of evil, he notes:
‘A willing sacrifice is required...He or she must sacrificially absorb the evil...There is a mysterious alchemy whereby the victim becomes the victor...I do not know how this occurs. But I know that it does...Whenever this happens there is a slight shift in the balance of power in the world.’
It is this that is the miracle of forgiveness.
There is one other matter of importance related to justice that we need to address before looking at the importance of forgiveness. God is certainly not indifferent to justice. The need for Christ's cross demonstrates that. However, ultimately justice is God's concern, and only he can dispense it fairly, taking all the factors into account. He has guaranteed that this is what he will ultimately do.
Paul, speaking about those who mistreat us, says, "Dear friends, don't try to get even. Let God take revenge. In the Scriptures the Lord says, 'I am the one to take revenge and pay them back.'... Don't let evil defeat you, but defeat evil with good" (Romans 12:19,21). God delegates the ordering of justice in society to duly constituted authority (Romans 13:1-5). Being members of a fallen race, this means that justice in this world is always flawed. However, we are not to take revenge into our own personal hands. God will see that justice is done, if not in this life, then surely and fairly in the next. Where repentance is not genuine and God's offer of reconciliation in Christ is not accepted, there can remain only justice. To meet evil with evil is a defeat for ourselves.”
--------------------------------------------------------
I needed to know what forgiveness was all about. During my search I discovered that I did not fully understand what the Bible meant when that word was used.
We could all benefit from replacing our current definition of "forgiveness" with the wisdom found in this article. Receiving forgiveness from God is easy for us. Granting true forgiveness may be the hardest thing we are ever asked to do.
Go do hard things.
Posts
That was an interesting post, Steve; I learned something.
ReplyDeleteWhile I was reading, I didn't see as much backup as I needed to accept the article as written, so I looked some stuff up and found your post to be correct. In case you're interested:
I looked up the word(s) FORGIVE, FORGAVE, FORGIVENESS in _Vine's_Expository_Dictionary_of_New_Testament_Words_ and found two verbs and one noun.
The first verb is APHIEMI, "primarily, to send forth, send away. Denotes, besides its other meanings, to remit or forgive debts, these being completely cancelled... [and] sins." Regarding sins, he talks about, first, the remission of the punishment of sins and second (here's the cool part!) "it involves the complete removal of the cause of offense; such remission is based upon the ... sacrifice of Christ."
The second verb, CHARIZOMAI, is "to bestow a favour unconditionally..."
The noun, APHESIS, is a release or a remission. (Interestingly not used in the remission of sins, but connected with the year of jubilee.)
God loves engineers too, Ken.
ReplyDeleteMaybe "especially".
Thanks for the backup.
~Shill